Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
worst night to have a conscience
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
