At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
