Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
