I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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