her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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