FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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