You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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