I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
