ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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