and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize