my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
