wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize