I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
