I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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