butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
