do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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