Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
