I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
