Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
