I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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