I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
