at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
