Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
