careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
