he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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