I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
