i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
