Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He shit in the fireplace
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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