When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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