Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
