I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
