Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Brb crying the tears of my youth
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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