If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
