my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
