Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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