she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
