i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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