chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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