I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
