Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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