She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
