Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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