Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
