I think i peed on brittanys purse
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
