After last night, I could never be a politician.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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