When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
