Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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