It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
