I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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