if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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