I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
