Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
