he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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