oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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