Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am one with the molecules
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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