I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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